He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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