He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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