bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
