pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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