Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I had to cum in my sink.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
