He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
