I love black thongs
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
