dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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