yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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