So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize