I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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