No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
