Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My liver just had a heart attack.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
