Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
