Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
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Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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