I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
