He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's blow job season.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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