Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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