Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
