Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
