So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
