Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
