THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
