Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
