i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
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No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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