He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
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I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.