I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid