Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize