I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
