sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
