i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i need to put some appletini on your dick
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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