No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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