Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
