Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
