Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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