how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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