the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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