I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
