Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
