So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have post one night stand depression
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