So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
