i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My breasts were aching with rage.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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