white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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