I wish I only lived at night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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