Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
