i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
