I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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