I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
