How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
