She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I look better un-naked...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
