They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
