Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
