wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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