ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
