i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
