Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
