In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
