someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
