I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
even my farts smell like vagina
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
