Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have aggressive nipples.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize